The first 30 days after deciding to separate

The first month is consequential

The decisions made in the first few weeks of separation can have lasting effects on the legal process that follows. This is not about rushing — it is about knowing enough to avoid mistakes that are harder to fix later.

What to do first

Get legal advice early

You do not need to have decided what you want before you see a lawyer. An initial consultation can give you a map of the landscape: what the law requires, what is realistic, what the likely process looks like, and what documents you should start gathering. Many family lawyers offer a first appointment at a fixed fee.

Note the date of separation

This date matters legally. For property matters, a range of time limits run from either the separation date or the divorce date. For de facto couples, the separation date determines when the two-year window to apply to court starts. Write it down.

Gather financial information

Once you are physically separated, access to financial records can become difficult. While you still have it, locate and copy:

• Bank and credit card statements (at least 12 months)
• Tax returns
• Superannuation statements
• Mortgage documents and property records
• Business records if relevant
• Any jointly held investments

This is not about building a case — it is about having accurate information when negotiations begin.

Make safety your first priority

If there is any risk to your safety or your children's safety, that comes before everything else. Contact 1800RESPECT or Lifeline for support and safety planning — helpline numbers are in our family violence guide. If there is immediate risk, call emergency services.

What to avoid

Do not sign anything without advice

The other party — or their lawyer — may present documents for signature early in the process. Do not sign any financial agreement, property transfer, or parenting document without having a lawyer review it first. Documents signed under pressure or without independent advice can sometimes be set aside, but it is harder than not signing in the first place.

Do not drain joint accounts or remove assets

Taking money from a joint account or removing assets from the pool without agreement can damage your credibility in negotiations and may be relevant in any court proceedings. Keep financial conduct above reproach.

Do not use children as messengers

Avoid asking children to carry messages, relay information, or report on the other parent's household. Courts notice this pattern and it rarely reflects well on the parent who does it.

Do not post about the separation on social media

Anything you post publicly can be used in legal proceedings. This applies to posts about finances, the other party's behaviour, and anything that identifies the children.

The separation period

Remember that you need to be separated for 12 months before you can apply for a divorce order. That 12-month period runs whether you take legal steps or not. You can live under the same roof during this period — courts accept "separated under one roof" — but you should document the separation date and the changed nature of the relationship.

What comes next

Most people find the first month overwhelming. That is normal. The goal for this period is not to resolve everything — it is to make safe decisions, get good advice, and avoid actions that complicate matters later.

This article is AI-generated demo content for reviewer purposes — final wording TODO(maree).